HAIR

I think I've found my first niche TV channel. Someone shaving all the hair off an endless stream of willing victims. Fascinating stuff. Why are the victims allowing this to happen? What do they think this is doing for them?

It appears to be BBC3's contribution to Children in Need. And it's miles better than Wogan on some sort of souped up embalming fluid.

I'm interested because I know I recognise people by their hair rather than their face. It may seem odd but psychologists tell me I'm not alone, lots of us rely on hair for our primary recognition algorithm.

As a journalism teacher, every year I need to get to know fast a large number of faces. Every year I get fooled once they start pulling on beanies etc. when the cold weather sets in.

When I was 20-something hair mattered, it defined you. There was even a musical called "Hair".

One of the most iconic images of 'loosing your personality' comes in the opening sequence of Kubrik's "Full Metal Jacket" as recruits are given a #1.

So you see why I do find it hard to understand why so many men today wish to voluntarily surrender this 'pride and joy'.

As a child I was regaled by family stories about how my father was bald by the age of 21. As it happens I survived obvious baldness till about 50.

These days old freinds don't recognise me when I wear a hat.